Linda Rhoutsong

Returning Fire Linda Rhoutsong

He had new medicine to help with his anger, and we saw Mary, our counselor, three times a week, alone and together. Things were going very well, and it was not uncommon for him to sleep over. In the following weeks, everything seemed fine, except we were anxious for him to come home. Maybe soon, Mary said, but we should keep doing what we were doing since it was going so well. Then our nightmare began. What was it that put him over the edge and become the man that he hated so much? He would cross over that line and become the man that everyone feared. He would not be the Mark we all loved ever again. I still believed with all my heart that he would never really hurt me. I will never forget his haunting words on the phone earlier. He'd called nine times, begging me to let him come home. I said, "No, you're really scaring me." Every time he'd slam down the phone and threaten me. "I can't live another day without you, and I won't." Were my son Jimmy's words about to come true? "Mark is crazy, someday he is going to kill someone!"

My story is as funny as it is tragic. It is scarier than I could have ever imagined. What I put my children through is unimaginable to me now. But I did it! I'm not sure I will ever forgive myself for being so selfish and not putting them first. I thank God every day that they have been able to forgive me. I am one of the lucky ones. God has blessed me in so many ways. I hope you enjoy my story and that, in some way, it may help you see the truth in your own relationship and what so easily really can happen.